#lt

Let’s not mince words: the inside of the Sydney casino looks as if Vegas had an illegitimate child with Liberace’s underpants, and that child fell down a staircase and hit its head on the edge of a spade. ↗

— Steve Toltz

#insults #ugly #humor

Sidekick? Fuck you, porky. ↗

— Julie James

#insults #name-calling #humor

Ever since her trip with Alexia to Scotland, Mrs. Tunstell had rather a taste for foreign travel. Alexia blamed it on the kilts. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#kilt #humor

Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the fool no where but in's own house. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#insult #humor

Weight (too much or too little) is a by-product. Weight is what happens when you use food to flatten your life. Even with aching joints, it's not about food. Even with arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure. It's about your desire to flatten your life. It's about the fact that you've given up without saying so. It's about your belief that it's not possible to live any other way -- and you're using food to act that out without ever having to admit it. (p. 53) ↗

— Geneen Roth

#eating #eating-disorders #health #food

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay ↗

— Marcia Carrington

#food #foodie #health #humor #food

I kind of hate Nick right now, too, but there's someone else higher on my list, someone I hate more than Saddam Hussein and any asshole named Bush combined, hate more than that fuckhead who canceled 'My So-Called Life' and left me with a too-small boxed DVD set that does not answer the questions whether Angela and Jordan Catalano did it, or if Patty and Graham got a divorce, or if there really was something to all that lesbian subtext between Rayanne and Sharon. ↗

— Rachel Cohn

#pop-culture #life

The soil is the great connector of lives, the source and destination of all. It is the healer and restorer and resurrector, by which disease passes into health, age into youth, death into life. Without proper care for it we can have no community, because without proper care for it we can have no life. ↗

— Wendell Berry

#farming #soil #age

Words cannot express my disappointment that I must pass on the invitation to once again witness your gelatinous buttocks swaying as you try to climb a greased pole naked in search of athletic glory. Sadly, the last occasion on which I witnessed this event had a deleterious effect on my psyche for which I am still seeking the attention of a therapist. A.C. Kemp as Lady Arabella Snark ↗

— A.C. Kemp

#insult #snark #humor

Who in their right mind counts the tiles on the floor when they go visiting a neighbor? ↗

— Tom Upton

#young-adult #humor