#m

The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes. ↗

— Nikolai Gogol

#sadness #funny

I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me." "It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #funny

Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?" All the time. ↗

— Wendy Mass

#funny #humor #jeremy-fink #jetsam #keys

You…you got rid of that dress fast," I pointed out between heavy breaths. "I thought you liked it." "I do like it," he said. His breathing was as heavy as mine. "I love it." And then he took me to the bed. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #rose-hathaway #sweet #funny

A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned ↗

— Benjamin Franklin

#inspirational #money #funny

Is this Clarissa Fray?" The voice on the other end of the phone sounded familiar, though not immediately identifiable. Clary twirled the phone cord nervously around her finger. "Yeees?" "Hi, I'm one of the knife-carrying hooligans you met last night in Pandemonium? I"m afraid I made a bad impression and was hoping you'd give me a chance to make it up to-" "SIMON!" Clary held the phone away from her ear as he cracked up laughing. "That is so not funny!" "Sure it is. You just don't see the humor." "Jerk." Clary sighed, leaning up against the wall. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #joke #phone #simon-lewis #tease

I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relationships. Ask yourself two questions: How many people do I know, and how much ransom money could I get for each one? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #grades #humor #iq #kidnap

He can heal me. I believe He will. I believe I'm going to be an old surely Baptist preacher. Abd even if He doesn't...that's the thing: I've read Philippians 1. I know what Paul says. I'm here let's work, if I go home? That's better. I understand that."- Matt on LIFE Today ↗

— Matt Chandler

#cancer #christian #christianity #faith #god

I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

You know, Ham," Breeze noted. "The only funny thing about your jokes is how often they lack any humor whatsoever. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#p- #funny