#m

The university awarded me my degree, but can something that’s basically worthless be properly called an award?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#college #degree #fraud #funny #humor

As early as 1,000 BC, man had to wait nearly 3,000 years to talk to me.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#history #humor #man #time #funny

I think I found your vampire,” Andrew said, except this time he wasn’t so amused. However, Gabriella was, her smile huge as she laughed, the sound a trill in the densely packed cold air. “You think this is funny?” The words came out surly, but Andrew couldn’t stop his lips from twitching over her amusement. “I thought they’d be bigger,” she said, stifling another round of giggles. “Are you okay?” “Just a flesh wound. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fantasy #fiction #key-of-pearl #laura-kreitzer #paranormal-fantasy

I don't like rap music at all. I don't think it's music. It's just a beat and rapping. ↗

— Nina Simone

#i #just #like #music #rap

I think if I were over there in America, protest music would be more important. But I'm not going. ↗

— Nina Simone

#going #i #i think #important #more

I consider abortion to be a deeply personal and intimate issue for women and I don't believe male legislators should even vote on the issue. ↗

— Alan K. Simpson

#believe #consider #deeply #even #i

I have the greatest husband. The baby is my main focus right now. We're both so excited. I mean, this is definitely the happiest moment in my life. ↗

— Ashlee Simpson

#both #definitely #excited #focus #greatest

Being pregnant was the healthiest I've ever been in my life. Except for the cupcakes. ↗

— Ashlee Simpson

#being #being pregnant #ever #except #healthiest

I had one fight in my adult life. I had the famous '89 fight with Nicole, which she admits that she initiated the physical part. ↗

— O. J. Simpson

#adult life #famous #fight #had #i

He was one of those men, and they are not the commonest, of whom we can know the best only by following them away from the marketplace, the platform, and the pulpit, entering with them into their own homes, hearing the voice with which they speak to the young and aged about their own hearthstone, and witnessing their thoughtful care for the everyday wants of everyday companions, who take all their kindness as a matter of course, and not as a subject for panegyric. ↗

— George Eliot

#humility #lifestyle #relationships #age