#m

Holy freak show! ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humour #vee-sky #humour

Kindness suits you." "Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it. ↗

— Derek Landy

#derek-landy #humour #kindness #skulduggery-pleasant #humour

After all, what could you expect from a pig but a grunt? ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#humour

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#nostalgia #humour

Don't call me 'gentleman'. I work for a livin'. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#george-cooper #humour #labels #humour

Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#humour

What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water! ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humour #jokes #humour

I said breathe. Not do a fish-out of-water imitation. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humour

Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#hot-baths #humour #problem #reconnaissance #tea

Are you conceding?' he says, his mouth falling open with mock surprise. 'Seems like that serum did you some good after all...' I shove him as hard as I can. 'Take that back. Take it back now.' 'Okay, okay!' He puts up his hands. 'It's just... I'm not very nice either, you know. That's why I like you so - ' 'Out!' I shout, pointing at the door. Laughing to himself, Tobias kisses my cheek and leaves the room. ↗

— Veronica Roth

#humour #romance #tobias-eaton #humour