#m

I'm not sure I would label it a 'survivor,'" said Iko, her sensor darkening with disgust. "It looks more like a rotting pumpkin. ↗

— Marissa Meyer

#humor

Better watch out said a second voice from somewhere under the Beetle. Don't park those two kraut cars too close together; it's springtime, and they might decide to mate. then Charlie'll be stuck with a garage full of little orange safety cones ↗

— Mercedes Lackey

#humor

You can’t has,' he whispered softly, 'not yours. ↗

— Wil Wheaton

#fantasy #geekery #humor #humor

You are out of your freaking skull! Maybe, but is that relevant? ↗

— Shannon McKenna

#humor

...looking angrily at the wombat: and a moment later, 'Come now, Stephen, this is coming it pretty high: your brute is eating my hat.' 'So he is, too,' said Dr. Maturin. 'But do not be perturbed, Jack; it will do him no harm, at all. His digestive processes-- ↗

— Patrick O'Brian

#humor #wombat #humor

The only good hero is the kind who survives to talk about merchandising. ↗

— Simon R. Green

#humor

I may be an idiot... but I'm not stupid. ↗

— icarly

#humor

Before I had kids, I always found it funny how people would talk about their children like they were the cutest things on the planet and how every little thing they did was endlessly fascinating. Now that I've had kids, I can say with certainty that, my children really are the cutest things on this planet and every little thing they do is endlessly fascinating... ↗

— Jennifer Miller

#humor #parenting #funny

Salvador Dalí seduced many ladies, particularly American ladies, but these seductions usually consisted of stripping them naked in his apartment, frying a couple of eggs, putting them on the woman's shoulders and, without a word, showing them the door. ↗

— Luis Buñuel

#surréalisme #humor

How much intelligence does it take to sneak up on a leaf? ↗

— Larry Niven

#hunter #vegetarian #humor