#ma

Big lots,' I said, seeing the eighty-year-old oaks and shady lawns. The houses were set way back and had iron fences and stone drives. The harder to hear your neighbors scream, my dear,' was David’s answer, and I sent my head up and down in agreement. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor #rachel-morgan #romance #supernatural #vampire

The spells are made up. I have met people who assure me, very seriously, that they are trying to do them, and I can assure them, just as seriously, that they don’t work. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#magic #humor

Taking a deep breath that smelled of rain, she was poised to move when a hand clasped her elbow. Memories of another hand grabbing her sent panic shooting through her veins. She swung around. "Whoa. You okay?" Lucas lightened his clasp around her arm. Kylie caught her breath and stared up at the werewolf's blue eyes. "Yeah. You just...surprised me. You need to whistle when you come up on me. ↗

— C.C. Hunter

#humor #kylie #lucas #paranormal #taken-at-dusk

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #insult #irs #malediction #humor

Jeremy, Good luck on your first marriage. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor

I alternate between feeling sympathetic toward humanity and being a misanthrope. When I'm sympathetic, it usually means I haven't been around people in awhile. ↗

— John R. Lindensmith

#humor #misanthrope #social-commentary #humor

Louis-Cesare slowly pulled himself into a half-standing position against the side of the winery.'What? Did you think one little mage was going to do me in?' He swallowed hard. 'Hell, that was just a warm-up. ↗

— Karen Chance

#damphir #dorina #fiction #humor #mage

Was this some new level of depravity? Had he developed a spinster fetish? ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #romance #humor

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow. ↗

— Mark Twain

#mark-twain #sorrow #humor

What if I shave?" he said. "I look much better when I'm shaved. My cousin will vouch for that—do I not look almost handsome when I shave, Edward? " He didn't wait for the duke's reply but turned earnestly back to Prudence. "Do you think you could marry me if I shaved? ↗

— Anne Gracie

#humor #romance #humor