#ma

The man who cannot visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot. ↗

— André Breton

#imagination #art

I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #relationships #steve-martin #friendship

They call me, The Sharkalator ↗

— James Patterson

#funny #gazzy #maximum-ride #name-calling #nicknames

Gay sex, one. Straight sex, zero ↗

— Dani Alexander

#m-m #mystery #ofy #romance #funny

I'm a little bit naked, but that's okay. ↗

— Lady Gaga

#funny #gaga #germanotta #hilarious #interview

Magnus raised his hands above his head and clapped once. The room flooded with light. "You see? You think that would be possible without magic? "Actually," replied Simon, "It is. If you watched infomercials you'd know that. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#magic #magnus-bane #funny

I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fish-tank #funny #nonsense #pacifism #funny

That's your truck parked up by the factory isn't it?" Magnus pointed. "It's awfully butch for a bookseller. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #funny #magnus-bane #funny

It's funny how different people are. If I'd been this kid and someone was snarling "Ordering a pizza?" at me, without even thinking, I would have snarled back "Yeah. You want pepperoni?" -Maximum Ride ↗

— James Patterson

#max #funny

If I were an armadillo, and a stranger came up and said I looked familiar, and they wanted to know why I looked so familiar, I'd respond in a raspy voice, "Your brother ran over my brother. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brother #funny #ran-over #raspy-voice #stranger