#men

It is simple impertinence for any man, or any body of men, to begin, or to contemplate, reform of the whole world. ↗

— Mahatma Gandhi

#men

When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#engagement #humor #jealousy #marriage #humor

So this was where lust was satisfied. If I'd been an old-time miner I'd have asked for my gold nugget back. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#brothels #disappointment #humor #humor

A girl got a nosebleed, so I gave her a tampon and warned her about the responsibilities of womanhood. “You’re going to get a lot of guys trying to stick things up there,” I said. Now she’s a mouth breather. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #menstrual-cycles #nosebleeds #womanhood #funny

Steal not this book for fear of shame For on it is the owners name And when you die the Lord will say Where is the book you stole away And when you say you do not know The Lord will say go down below. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#humor #poem #punishment #stealing #humor

Your king is SUPPOSED to explode? What kind of government system is that? ↗

— Jefferson Smith

#government #humor #humour #kings #monarchy

JACK Your duty as a gentleman calls you back. ALGERNON My duty as a gentleman has never interfered with my pleasures in the smallest degree. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #pleasure #humor

I collect collectivisms. I’ve already got socialism and communism, and all I need is fascism to complete the set. I’m looking to trade my dusty democracy, but Uncle Sam isn’t interested in a deal at this time. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#collections #collectivism #communism #democracy #fascism

What I know now is that gallant young men rarely get pussy. Put it on a sampler and hang it in your kitchen. ↗

— Stephen King

#humorous #sex #men

baloney is flattery so thick it cannot be true; blarney is flatter so thin we like it. ↗

— Monsignor Fulton J. Sheen

#blarney #compliment #flattery #humor #humor