#microwave

My favorite thing to do is watch the radiation box. Not the TV, but the microwave. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#microwave #tv #funny

Masturbation is love in a microwave. Be sure to use plenty of plastic wrap. ↗

— Bauvard

#masturbation #microwaves #love

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. ↗

— Steven Wright

#back #coffee #i #instant #microwave

Before he sat down, my internal heat-seekers sensed what was coming my way: deep blue eyes that melted girls like Velveeta in a microwave. I tried to resist those microwave eyes, but sometimes there's no defense against them. I had a feeling I'd be seeing him weeping over my coffin later that night. ↗

— Natalie Standiford

#humor #microwaves #natalie-standiford #humor