#microwave

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. ↗

— Steven Wright

#back #coffee #i #instant #microwave

He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave. ↗

— Sid Waddell

#happy #looks #microwave #penguin

The radiation left over from the Big Bang is the same as that in your microwave oven but very much less powerful. It would heat your pizza only to minus 271.3*C - not much good for defrosting the pizza, let alone cooking it. ↗

— Stephen Hawking

#bang #big #big bang #cooking #good

Before he sat down, my internal heat-seekers sensed what was coming my way: deep blue eyes that melted girls like Velveeta in a microwave. I tried to resist those microwave eyes, but sometimes there's no defense against them. I had a feeling I'd be seeing him weeping over my coffin later that night. ↗

— Natalie Standiford

#humor #microwaves #natalie-standiford #humor