#mis

It’s not our mistakes that define us. It’s the lessons we learn that show our true character. ↗

— Cassia Leo

#lessons #mistakes #home

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results. ↗

— Narcotics Anonymous

#insanity #life #misattributed-albert-einstein #humor

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. ↗

— Paul Terry

#humor #laziness #misattributed-to-hutchins #humor

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #misattributed #philosophy #theology #humor

Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources ↗

— Albert Einstein

#humor #misattributed #humor

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. ↗

— George Will

#being #constantly #either #nice #part

I don't like lollipops. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #humor

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #misattributed #spoonerism #wordplay #humor

I’m not going to lecture you on the error of your ways. Not until you fetch me a podium and a microphone. I’ll also need a screen, a projector, and a laser pointer. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#errors #funny #humor #laser #lecture

It's amazing--my parents call everything a discussion. If I were standing across the street, firing a bazooka at my mother, while my father was launching mortar back at me, and Jeffery was charging down the driveway with a grenade in his teeth, my parents would say we should stop having this public "discussion". ↗

— Jordan Sonnenblick

#euphemism #humor #parents #humor