#mo

I directed my first film. It’s about the economy and it’s called “Bend Over.” It’s an hour and a half of a single continuous shot of an ass, naked and bent over. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#economy #funny #humor #funny

Dear Fly, I love you. If you are a mouse I am cheese. If you are a cat I am a mouse. You are a fly, so I want to be shit. ↗

— Casey Scieszka

#humor #love #funny

Don't whine over sensitive issues - cry with laughter. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #whining #funny

Thoughtful organ donors do not give to charity posthumously. They cultivate many pen pals and ship their deliveries first class. ↗

— Bauvard

#generosity #humor #organ-donor #funny

I happen to find ceilings much lovelier than the night sky myself. Sometimes I just stare at them for hours and wonder what could be up there. ↗

— Bauvard

#ceilings #constellations #funny #humor #sky

It is a known fact that pain and pleasure are the two most basic elements of life. But the secret is to simplify that fact. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #life #pain #pleasure #sadomasochism

When it comes to adding color to my face, I prefer lipstick. But no one ever lets me apply their lips, since I blush so much. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #kissing #lipstick #funny

I said alone!” He nodded in agreement. “Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It’s our way. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#humour #love #paranormal-romance #romance #funny

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.' 'And yet it is still extremely funny. ↗

— Cecelia Ahern

#sarcasm #funny

Neighbors are the most indecent sort of folk around. Nothing but voyeurs and gossipers. As a community we would be much better off without them. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #gossiping #humor #neighbors #voyeurism