#mo

I was done with men. Totally and completely. I was looking forward to a life as a cat lady. I was going to get a dozen cats and a fucking great vibrator, maybe one of those rabbits I heard about, and that was it. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#romance #humor

If you lie there much longer, I’ll be tempted to tie you to the table legs and try buttering your ass instead of the toast. ↗

— Cari Silverwood

#humor #sexy #humor

Sasha snorted. "I have never in my extremely long life seen anyone take so long to answer a question. It's like you went into your brain and got lost. you need a bread crumb, buddy?" He made a noise like he was calling his pet. "Here Lassie, here. Come back girl. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humour #humor

My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin. ↗

— Deanne Smith

#humor

That's why when major badasses greet each other in movies, they don't say anything, they just nod. The nod means 'I am a badass, and i recognize that you, too, are a badass'... ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Love is annoying like that. It takes away your sense of humor and self-preservation. ↗

— Audrey Hart

#love #the-dig #humor

MORGAN: Help me out here. THEO: What's up? MORGAN: Don't make me spell it out, Theo. THEO: Oh. MORGAN:Just talk dirty for a while. THEO: Blue-sky thinking. Thought shower. Full spectrum leadership. MORGAN: NOT corporate dirty. Sex dirty. THEO: I wouldn't know where to start. ↗

— Con Riley

#humor #humor

Most horses don't walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can't see doesn't exist. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

A pretty girl can do no wrong. ↗

— Edward Abbey

#humor

From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong? ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#humor #rock-and-roll #humor