#mo

I’m glad you think so. I’ve always considered my sense of humor to be largely underappreciated, so it’s nice to finally meet a fan. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#humor

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? ↗

— Steven Wright

#riddle #humor

Punctuation, is? fun! ↗

— Daniel Keyes

#punctuation #humor

Stop smiling. Every time you smile, an angel dies. ↗

— Kristan Higgins

#humour #smiling #humor

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#housekeeping #humor #humor

On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #clone #funny #humor #funny

Ninth graders with machine guns: its hard to make that a happy story. ↗

— Michael Grant

#humor

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body. ↗

— George Carlin

#fitness #humor #humor

Purple light passed over the paper, but nothing happened. "Next!" Amy said. She was sure the man in black was going to burst in on them any second. "Whoa!" Dan said. Amy gripped his arm. "You found it?" "No, but look! This whole essay - 'To the Royal Academy.' He wrote a whole essay on farts!" Dan grinned with delight. "He's proposing a scientific study on different fart smells. You're right, Amy. This guy was a genius! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#ben-franklin #dan-cahill #essay #fart #humor

When did you suddenly become Mister Maturity? ↗

— Michael Buckley

#humor #humor