#mo

On the morning in question, she wore white shorts and a pink T-shirt that featured a green dragon breathing a fire of orange glitter. It is difficult to explain how awesome I found this T-shirt at the time. ↗

— John Green

#papertowns #humor

Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please? ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humor

Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion. ↗

— Gary Larson

#humor #satire #social-commentary #humor

Listen, street punk. You're a guy, and you're a couple inches taller, and maybe forty pounds heavier, and ooh, you're in a gang. But I've survived ten years of Catholic school, and I will cut you off at your knees without a blink. Do you understand? ↗

— James Patterson

#humor #maxride #ratchet #star #humor

If God wanted a world filled with saints, He never would have created adolescence. ↗

— Susan Beth Pfeffer

#religious #humor

Shakespeare is just some bloke who keeps ranting "what light trough yonder window breaks" its the moon for god sakes! ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor

I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay! ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

Why do people always expect authors to answer questions? I am an author because I want to ask questions. If I had answers, I'd be a politician. ↗

— Eugène Ionesco

#writer #humor

How long have you been with Raphael?” “You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.” “What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.” -Venom and Elena ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor #nalini-singh #paranormal #sarcasm #humor

This college would probably have the same problem as the last one did." I frowned, "What's that?" "Homework. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #rose #spirit-bound #vampire-academy #vampires