#mo

The Beast Lord walked out of the warehouse. The screen went dark. My knight in furry armor. Saiman opened his mouth. "This is why I didn't. Personally, I think your smile is inappropriate. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#curran #humor #kate #humor

O Senhor Valéry era pequenino, mas dava muitos saltos. Ele explicava: -Sou igual às pessoas altas só que por menos tempo. ↗

— Gonçalo M. Tavares

#humor

Goose neck is a delicacy. You have to at least try it. In fancy restaurants people pay up to fifty dollars a plate for this stuff.' And at our house we were force-fed it for free. Just another irony of life. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#humor #irony #food

The look in his eyes turned a little wild. "That's the only reason I'm letting you go. If I had any choice--" "You do," she said "Wed can all sit here and let him die. Or you can let Eve go on her wild-ass rescue mission and get herself killed. Or you can let sweet, calm, reasonable Claire go do some talking." He shook his head. His long, elegant hands, which looked so at home wrapped around a guitar, closed into fists. "Guess that means there's no choice." "Not really," Claire agreed. "I was kind of lying about that choice thing. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#claire-danvers #funny-humor #michael-glass #funny

People will buy anything at jumble sales,' I said. 'At the Evacuated Children Charity Fair a woman bought a tree branch that had fallen on the table. ↗

— Connie Willis

#humor

Himmlisch ist's wenn ich bezwungen Meine irdische Begier; Aber doch wenn's nich gelungen Hatt' ich auch recht huebsch Plaisir! Loosely translated: It is heavenly, when I overcome My earthly desires But nevertheless, when I'm not successful, It can also be quite pleasurable. ↗

— Leo Tolstoy

#sexuality #unfaithful #humor

He die one day, and then he go above of my head to live with your father." He weared the long hair, and after he died, the first day he come back here for to say hello to the peoples." He nice, the Jesus. ↗

— David Sedaris

#religion #humor

Satan rejected my soul; as low as he goes, he never quite goes this low. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them. ↗

— George Burns

#fool #humor #money #sayings #wisdom

Bad pony-men! BOO! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#cyclopes #cyclops #heroes-of-olympus #humor #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians