#mo

We've all made mistakes that are similar in just trying to get by or make some money or feel good about ourselves. ↗

— Laura Kightlinger

#feel #feel good #get #good #just

Dear Edmond, When I got home last night I noticed that you were asleep. I also noticed that you had gone to Morton's Steakhouse and there were leftovers in the fridge. Renaldo and Ruprecht were asleep, so I examined the boxes a little more closely. On them you had written "Edmond" and underlined your name. And then next to it you had written "Do Not Eat!" So I honored your wish, and I ate all your food, thus removing the temptation for you to eat it. It was great! You're such a great friend, with a strong will, too. But even the strongest wills get tested. I know that just as much as you do. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #rude #selfish #food

There's nothing more intoxicating than doing big, bold things. ↗

— Jason Kilar

#bold #doing #intoxicating #more #nothing

Forks are absurd, he scoffed. They insult your food. They make it think you're killing it twice. ↗

— Clare B. Dunkle

#forks #humor #food

Most of us don't spend any time knowing ourselves. We just keep reacting. ↗

— Jewel Kilcher

#just #keep #knowing #most #ourselves

It's very disappointing... Anything that harms the integrity of the game is terrible. We always thought we were immune to drugs in baseball, but we know that's not true anymore. ↗

— Harmon Killebrew

#anymore #anything #baseball #disappointing #game

Junipers are generally chosen for the latter purpose, as they can be more readily bent into the desired form; the eyes and tongue are added afterwards, and the representation altogether is really good. ↗

— Robert Fortune

#afterwards #altogether #bent #chosen #desired

Pizza tastes as good as being skinny feels. ↗

— Lauren Leto

#humor #food

I would love a sandwich,' said Tybalt, with enough gravity to make it sound like a formal proclamation. Resolved: that we will have ham and cheese sandwiches. ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#food #humor #food

I don’t like dirt, because nothing is dirtier. Except politics.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#corruption #dirt #dirty #filthy #funny