#mo

They can't tell so much about you if you got your eyes closed. ↗

— Ken Kesey

#philosophy #wisdom #humor

A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #humor

The lamp tipped over, nailing Kane in the head. Sabin shook his head. The man was a walking disaster Literally. Whenever Kane stepped into a room, things went to hell pretty quickly. Sabin expected the ceiling to cave in any moment. And yea, it had happened before. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor #kane #lords-of-the-underworld #humor

Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today. ↗

— Emma Chase

#humor #sex #humor

Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once. ↗

— Tallulah Bankhead

#sex #vice #humor

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb - and I'm not blonde either. ↗

— Dolly Parton

#confession #humor

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#humor

Now lemme get this straight," she said in a throaty, nasal voice. "You put the lime in the cocanut and drink 'em both up--whoa, long faces. What am I interrupting? ↗

— Lauren Kate

#humor #humor

When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? ↗

— Billy Connolly

#lost #humor

Ransom really looked at the other man for the first time, shook his head, stared again.“Holy hell, your eyes are like a fucking viper’s.” Venom raised an eyebrow.“You have hair prettier than one of Astaad’s concubines.” Ransom gave the vampire the finger. Venom grinned. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#hunters #ransom #vampires #venom #humor