#mo

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. ↗

— George Carlin

#insanity #lies #lying #self-indulgence #truth

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you. ↗

— Rita Mae Brown

#insanity #humor

Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources ↗

— Albert Einstein

#humor #misattributed #humor

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#proverb #humor

Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#obedience #humor

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? ↗

— Mark Twain

#common #eighteen #had #humanity #most

You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#humor

Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I’m here to tell you that undead are just like you and me … well, okay. Possibly more like me than you. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #mortal-instruments #simon #vampire #humor

Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice. ↗

— James Patterson

#humor