#mo

What song would lull a snake into submission? "John Mayer?" "Over my dead body." "Could be, Tim, could be. ↗

— Gini Koch

#humor #sci-fi #humor

If it were easier to resist, it would not be called Chocolate Cake. ↗

— Maryrose Wood

#humor

Victor: You guys have some kind of rallying cry? You know, "Avengers assemble?" "It's clobberin' time?" "Hulk smash?" Nico: "Try not to die. ↗

— Brian K. Vaughan

#humor

I don't know whether to toss you through that window or shake your hand and say 'Well done'" Henry said in a tired voice. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#romance #humor

Kipling: Where's your sense of humor? Rebis: We're working on reconstructing it... ↗

— Grant Morrison

#humor #sardonic #humor

I helped you because you're new, and because when there's two people in a cell then there's only a fifty percent chance they'll take you. ↗

— Alexander Gordon Smith

#humor

This boy turkied my Thanksgiving, but I won't let him Grinch my Christmas. -Dean Hughes (Midway to Heaven) ↗

— Dean Hughes

#humor #humor

This, my children," Alistair said proudly, "was barbecue pork." Dan rapped his fingers against the latch. "Been out in the sun for a long time. ↗

— Peter Lerangis

#dan #humor #the #humor

Are you aware, Mr Mayor, then when casually scrying the streets of London, you stand out like a giraffe on roller skates, yes? ↗

— Kate Griffin

#humor

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor