#mo

Thank you sir," she said. "I hope that your friend feels better soon." I shrugged. "The ways of the Lord" I said, "are often dark, but never pleasant. ↗

— Robert B. Parker

#humor #religon #spenser #humor

Poetic simile was strictly limited to statements like 'his mighty steed was as fleet as the wind on a fairly calm day, say about Force Three,' and any loose talk about a beloved having a face that launched a thousand ships would have to be backed by evidence that the object of desire did indeed look like a bottle of champagne. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

Did you hear what I was playing, Lane? I didn't think it polite to listen, sir. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#music #humor

What is the secret of life?’ I asked. ‘I forget,’ said Sandra. ‘Protein,’ the bartender declared. ‘They found something out about protein.‘ ‘Yeah,’ said Sandra, ‘that’s it. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#satire #humor

The man kisses me and I just hop right on him like he's the hottest new ride at Disneyland. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor #love #sex #humor

I mean, electric shock? Isn’t that a bit... electric shock-y? ↗

— Emmett Spain

#humor #london-city #urban-fantasy #vampire #humor

I took her outside on to a little roof terrace that looked like it never got the sun at nay time of the day r year, but there was a picnic table and a grill out there anyway. Those little grills are everywhere in England, right? To me they've come to represent the trumph of hope over circumstance, seeing as all you can do is peer at them out the window through the pissing rain. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#humor #london #humor

Tolerance is important. We should respect all other religions, and their stupid Gods! ↗

— David Tench

#humor

There was a long silence while they sat there staring at each other, a moment that was rudely interrupted by the sound of Max breaking wind. ↗

— Philip Caveney

#humor

They may well have had a backup system, but if it crashed at the same time as their main system, then that's all she wrote,' Riker said. 'Excuse mee, sir' said Data. 'That's all who wrote?' 'It's merely an expression, Mr. Data,' said Picard. 'It means that was the end of it. There was nothing they could do.' 'That's all she wrote' repeated Data. He nodded. 'Yes, I see. She, in this case, doubtless referring to the human conceptualization of Fate, writing a final chapter, as it were, and putting a period to the-' 'Please, Mr. Data,' Picard said impatiently. ↗

— Simon Hawke

#humor