#mon

The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#economics #humor #money #humor

Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them. ↗

— George Burns

#fool #humor #money #sayings #wisdom

Monty Python: A documentary series on everyday life in Great Britain. ↗

— Frank Portman

#monty-python #humor

It's not wrong to hustle hustlers. It's like killing murderers, a public service. -Damon Salvatore ↗

— L.J. Smith

#damon-salvatore #diaries #elena #elena-gilbert #gilbert

Ethan: "You think I'm a hero?" Beth: "Yes." Ethan: "But lousy husband material?" Like that really mattered to him. Beth: "Don't sweat it. So was Superman. ↗

— Lucy Monroe

#humor #lucy-monroe #marriage #humor

So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership. ↗

— Julio-Alexi Genao

#humorous #monday #mondays #humor

The monkey didn't help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, 'This is the turning point of the war! We've finally stopped them! We're finally safe!' But instead his little penis popped out and he peed in my face. ↗

— Max Brooks

#monkey #zombies #humor

Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything. Yes, murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; and when they grow older they know it. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#imagine #know #money #old #sarcasm

I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ↗

— Mary Shelley

#frankenstein #horror #killer #mary-shelley #monster

Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #mormonism #religion #robot #humor