#na

Huh? Oh you have a hidden agenda, do you?" She laughed. His straight-faced humor always surprised her. "You promised me you didn't." "There is nothing hidden about it," he replied. My objective is obvious. I've decided I'd rather have you describe me as 'sweet' than a 'slagging pain in the tailset.'" "Really?" "Well..." he looked up from the bag. "Maybe not in public." "I might be able to confine myself to saying it in private, if you gave me a reason." Taya met his eyes, and he blushed.

— Dru Pagliassotti

#flirting #nicknames #teasing #humor

Senator, I make it a point never to do math in public. ↗

— Paul W.

#inspirational #math #politics #humor

It's great to be alive, isn't it? Especially when you consider the alternative. ↗

— Jonathan Ross

#inspirational #humor

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #inspirational #truth #humor

This “who’s on top” banter continues until one wrestler (who has slyly gone to hide behind a chair) leaps upon his rival with an animal cry. The pair then proceeds to create a series of tableaux that appear to be from the Kama Sutra, Vatsyayana’s ancient Indian textbook of carnal satisfaction. Occasionally, the tension is broken by a wrestler who picks up a large object, such as a table, to throw on the other’s head, as if suddenly disgusted by his forbidden love. ↗

— Lady Arabella Snark

#pro-wrestling #snark #humor

Since i couldn't remember the "real" first time i'd lost my virginity, this would have become my de facto first time. I wanted a better story then: I did it with this boy who i wasn't very into and who had mysterious Gaterade breath; in his room decorated with sports equipment; at least he was nice enough to provide condoms and get his ancient, horny dog to leave us along. ↗

— Gabrielle Zevin

#gabrielle-zevin #humor #naomi #sex #humor

I must go down to the seas again to find where I buried the hatchet with Yesterday. ↗

— Janet Frame

#humor

I decided to irritate him, on the premise that it couldn't make my situation any worse. ↗

— Jeff Somers

#humor

When the world has once begun to use us ill, it afterwards continues the same treatment with less scruple or ceremony, as men do to a whore. ↗

— Jonathan Swift

#inspirational #life #satire #humor

I'd like to show you who's the boss, but I'm afraid it would only confirm that you are. ↗

— Jane Seabrook

#inspirational #humor