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#nightlight

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #nightlight




Then I had another one of my well-researched epiphanies. His constant use of Purell, his love of video games, his lack of friends, planet gazing, and flail-run. “You’re a zombie,” I gasped. “No. I’m not,” he said. I went back to the vampire theory.


Harvard Lampoon


#nightlight #parody #twilight #vampires #zombies

I knew my dad would insist on carrying my twelve bags into the house all by himself, so I ran ahead to my room. It looked familiar. Four walls and a ceiling, just like my old room in Phoenix! Leave it to my dad to find little ways to make me feel at home.


Harvard Lampoon


#nightlight #parody #twilight #home

We trekked onwards until the road came to an abrupt stop in the middle of a field. A car rambled up, stopped, and made a twelve-point turn. I skipped to the middle of the field and continued skipping around and around. Never had I felt freer. Never had I belted The Sound of Music louder. It was beautiful. There were glorious weeds everywhere, and those yellow flowers that when you blow on them disappear into white flakes. It was magical. And yet, it looked strangely familiar. “Is this my backyard?” I asked. Edwart stood, leaning against a tree in the woods bordering the meadow. “No, Belle. We’re at least five minutes from your house.


Harvard Lampoon


#nightlight #parody #twilight #beauty

The truck is beautiful.” I breathed. I exhaled. Then I breathed again. “Beautiful.


Harvard Lampoon


#nightlight #parody #twilight #beauty

Then, suddenly, I remembered the accident, and Edwart's snow-proof body, and his eyes that changed from I-don't-remember to green, and I knew.


The Harvard Lampoon


#change

No one else could know we were going on a date, though. I needed to protect Edwart in case anything happened. Still, I had never gone out with such a hot guy before, so I sent a vague e-mail to the whole grade saying, “Edwart Mullen and Belle Goose Are Totally Together.


Harvard Lampoon


#nightlight #parody #twilight #dating

As soon as we were inside, Edwart's family rushed to greet me. What seemed like thirty people circled me, chattering away. "Oh my god, you smell good." "Good smell, good smell." "(she really does smell good.)" "do you mind if I put my nose right on you? Right on your arm?" "More smelly smelly please." "If I could destroy every part of my brain except the part that smelled your smell, I would do it. I would do it in a second." "Let's go, Belle," Edwart whispered and grabbed my hand. We pushed through the ravenous vampires nad out the front door. "So that went well!" I said outside in the U-HAUL. I sniffed my hair. I did smell good. "No, no, that wasn't my house," Edwart said, starting the truck. "I don't even know those people! Sometimes I get addresses confused.


The Harvard Lampoon


#edwart-mullen #nightlight #family

I can’t shop for more clothes, guys. I’m a role model to 1.3 million girls—I have to prove to them that there’s more to life than clothes.


Harvard Lampoon


#nightlight #parody #twilight #life

This search was fruitless; there were only 62,500,000 results. I was going to have to rely on my own knowledge. Then I thought, why don’t I share that knowledge with the world? I sat back down at the computer and went to the vampire Wikipedia page. I added a sentence to the article: “Edwart Mullen of Switchblade, Oregon, is a vampire, but don’t kill him because I love him!” Then I added a picture of Edwart’s abs.


Harvard Lampoon


#nightlight #parody #twilight #love

Please come with me to my car, Belle,” he offered gently, limping towards me. “I mean, only if you want to.” “Uh-uh. Not with that attitude.” “Pretty please?” I shook my head disappointedly. “What’s the magic verb form?” “Belle,” he groaned. “We don’t have time for this. Plus I hate when you make me do this.” “Imperative, Edwart. The magic verb form is imperative. You don’t have to hide your natural inclination to boss me around. I want you to feel comfortable with me, Edwart. To the point of domination.” “Okay, okay.” He took a deep breath and pointed at me. “You,” he said stiffly, the words flowing straight from some primordial, bossy wordbank. “Come to the place where you want to go, which, hopefully, is my car, where I will be, God willing.” “All right.” He relaxed. “You’re not angry at me for being domineering? That wasn’t a trick?” “No, Edwart,” I said, leading him to his car. “Get in.


Harvard Lampoon


#nightlight #parody #twilight #attitude






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