#ny

Of course you know, this means war. ↗

— Joe Adamson

#looney-toons #war #funny

You won't even take your bow? Are you planning to throttle a moose with your bare hands, then?" "I've a knife in my boot," she said, and then wondered, for a moment, if she could throttle a moose with her bare hands. ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#funny

I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #relationships #steve-martin #friendship

Your mail could've waited." Daemon followed me into the kitchen. "What is it? Just books?" Grabbing the OJ from the fridge, I sighed. People who didn't heart books didn't understand. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#funny #funny

Be careful, though." "Aren't I always?" "No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless. ↗

— Veronica Roth

#real #funny

I was feeling the height of bitchiness. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#katy #funny

They call me, The Sharkalator ↗

— James Patterson

#funny #gazzy #maximum-ride #name-calling #nicknames

Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #funny

I want to write a book on sex. It will be filled with phrases like "Uuuhgh yeeeaaaah," and "Ooooh that's it," and "Whose hands are those? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#sex #write-a-book #funny

That's the funny thing about trying to escape. You never really can. Maybe temporarily, but not completely. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#jennifer-l-armentrout #onyx #funny