#ny

I think I found your vampire,” Andrew said, except this time he wasn’t so amused. However, Gabriella was, her smile huge as she laughed, the sound a trill in the densely packed cold air. “You think this is funny?” The words came out surly, but Andrew couldn’t stop his lips from twitching over her amusement. “I thought they’d be bigger,” she said, stifling another round of giggles. “Are you okay?” “Just a flesh wound. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fantasy #fiction #key-of-pearl #laura-kreitzer #paranormal-fantasy

I think I've been very lucky. The readers who write to me say they like the characters and the sense of a real world, often one they don't otherwise know about. And usually there's a funny bit in there somewhere. ↗

— Sophie Weston

#funny

Walk Like A Pine Tree Day occurs on Stand Still Day. Orafoura and I observe both—and we observe whatever else we may be standing next to.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #nature #observe #see

I'm an artist, and I go in the studio and make my music. And then I'll give it to my dad and he does what he does. And he does, you know, the press, and figuring out shows and whatnot. When it comes to my artistic freedom, he doesn't, like, step on my toes or anything. ↗

— Ashlee Simpson

#artist #artistic #comes #dad #does

I wouldn't go back and change anything. ↗

— Charlie Simpson

#back #change #go #i

See, what you're talking about is why hanging out with ME would be fun for YOU. It doesn't explain anything about why it'd be fun for ME. You don't bring banter. You aren't witty. You aren't funny. There is nothing to pick from your brain. You're looking for me to entertain you. A relationship is an exchange, not a one-way street. Look beyond your own personal desires for a second and understand what you bring to the exchange- nothing. ↗

— Tucker Max

#pa #funny

I’ll wipe a booger on your living room wall, not only to show I was there, but also to say thanks for having me over.
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— Jarod Kintz

#gratitude #humor #relationships #rude #thanks

Cottontail knocked on the big front door and was admitted to the Palace. There she stood in her funny country clothes but none of the other four Easter Bunnies laughed, for they were wise and kind and knew better. ↗

— DuBose Heyward

#funny

A blanket could be used as a bathtub tarp, keeping all the body’s heat in, and the police’s and murder victim’s wife’s eyes out.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you're like an ant.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny