#ny

Love smells like a flower in bloom. A flower that's sitting on a pile of steaming feces. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

Love doesn’t have form (aside from your naked body), but it does have a shape. The shape of love is circular, like a STOP sign. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

Coincidentally, a good age for a Japanese girl is younger than twenty five, because that's when she turns into a 'Christmas Cake'. Christmas cakes, as everyone knows, are desirable before the twenty fifth but afterward quickly become stale and are put on the shelf. ↗

— Andrew Davidson

#humor #life #women #age

My love’s got a lot of love to give. Unfortunately, she gives none of it to me.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#humor #love #age

Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#bed #clarity #funny #humor #life

...You won't age? I promise you this - your hands will go shiny and transparent and at the slightest bruise they'll bleed... ↗

— John Geddes

#bruise #hands #shiny #skin #transparent

Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students. ↗

— Molly Harper

#jane-jameson #kindergarten #maturity #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

Around about now, young John Owen comes out of the shack lugging my old musket from the War. At six years of age, our youngest boy already knew his business. Not a word, just brings the shooting iron somewhat closer so's he don't waste powder, then hoists her up, set to haul back on the trigger. I believe his plan was to shoot this feller, get the story later. ↗

— Peter Matthiessen

#age

And, whoa!" He turned to Mr.D. "Your the wine dude? No way!" Mr.D turned hi eyes away from me and gave Nico a look of loathing. "The wine dude?" "Dionysus, right? Oh, wow! I've got your figurine!" "My figurine." "In my game, Mythomagic. And holofoil card, too! And even though you've only got like five hundred attack points and everybody thinks your the lamest god card, I totally think your powers are sweet!" "Ah." Mr.D seemed truly perplexed, which probably saved my life. "Well, that's...gratifying. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#dionysus #humor #mythomagic #nico-diangelo #humor

Users are a double-edged sword. They can help you improve your language, but they can also deter you from improving. So choose your users carefully, and be slow to grow their number. Having users is like optimization: the wise course is to delay it. ↗

— Paul Graham

#age