#ny

The very hirelings of the press, whose trade it is to buoy up the spirits of the people. have uttered falsehoods so long, they have played off so many tricks, that their budget seems, at last, to be quite empty. ↗

— William Cobbett

#buoy #empty #falsehoods #last #long

You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world! ↗

— James Dashner

#humor #random #the-maze-runner #funny

What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#funny #humor #funny

In Holland, they have come to precisely the same conclusion. There they have adopted a system of secular education, because they have found it impracticable to unite the religious bodies in any system of combined religious instruction. ↗

— Richard Cobden

#any #because #bodies #combined #come

You know, we're really destroying ourselves because we're really making the motivating force of anything we do selfish. ↗

— Ralph Steadman

#because #destroying #force #know #making

This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#girlfriend #humor #neighbors #sex #funny

She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty." Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#funny #kate #funny

The most annoying and full-of-crap thing a writer says is, 'I write only for myself, I don't care if anyone reads it.' A writer without a reader doesn't exist. ↗

— Harlan Coben

#anyone #care #exist #i #i write

I didn't really know exactly the point where I wanted to be an actor. But I know at this point, because I never went to college, I don't really have anything to fall back on. ↗

— Rory Cochrane

#anything #back #because #college #exactly

A childish soul not inoculated with compulsory prayer is a soul open to any religious infection. ↗

— Alexander Cockburn

#childish #compulsory #infection #inoculated #open