#ok

Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I'm cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#humor #humor

In Chinese love stories the one who loves always starts by borrowing a book from the beloved. ↗

— Dai Sijie

#love #love

I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #humor

I have a beard of fog that I wear on misty mornings. It’s not cigarette smoke, but I’d understand if you wanted to shave it off and inhale it. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cigarette #fog #funny #humor #inhale

Niall had been able to mask the odor of fairy from Eric in the restaurant, but I saw from the flare of Eric's nostrils that the intoxicating scent clung to me. Eric's eyes closed in ecstasy, and he actually licked his lips. I felt like a T-bone just out of reach of a hungry dog. "Snap out of it," I said. I wasn't in the mood. With a huge effort, Eric reigned himself in. "When you smell like that," he said, "I just wanna fuck you and bite you and rub myself all over you. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#fairies #humor #intoxication #sookie-stackhouse #vampires

Some have brains, and some haven't, ... and there it is. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#humor #kids-books #humor

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#bad #book #disgrace #many #politics

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #on-writing #wit #writing #humor

But Neve, you can’t start a book and leave it halfway through,’ he’d said implacably. ‘It’s almost as bad as turning down the corner of the page, instead of using a bookmark. ↗

— Sarra Manning

#love

Have you ever found your heart's desire and then lost it? I had seen myself, a portrait of myself as a reader. My childhood: days home sick from school reading Nancy Drew, forbidden books read secretively late at night. Teenage years reading -trying to read- books I'd heard were important, Naked Lunch, and The Fountainhead, Ulysses and Women in Love... It was as though I had dreamt the perfect lover, who vanished as I woke, leaving me pining and surly. ↗

— Audrey Niffenegger

#love #love