#om

A little vanilla never hurt anybody.” He nipped her ankle. “Great shoes by the way. Sexy as hell. ↗

— Hanna Lui

#erotic-literature #erotic-romance #erotica #funny #funny

Huevos up. Swing up to the window, swing back to Al B. Hall, who says, "Bless you," and would I get him a bottle of Satan's Red-Hot Revenge for the eggs? Sure thing, Pastor. ↗

— Joan Bauer

#funny #funny

Laura's problem was that she kept casting men in roles they weren't suited for. Like lovely Josh, casting him in the role of decent, kind house-husband, the perfect partner, the modern male, when - what was it that she'd actually loved about him, really? Laura tried to think, and couldn't come up with an answer. He was a great man - kind, funny, clever, hard working - but there was no way he was the man for her, she realised now. Why hadn't she seen it? ↗

— Harriet Evans

#funny

Hey, he's not using a holster," I said, glancing at Alex's on the dresser. He laughed out loud. "Yeah, I guess he must want something shooting off. It'd be so great if these things were true to life - the next scene would show him at hospital like, clutching himself in agony."'Angel - L.A.Weatherly ↗

— L.A.Weatherly

#comedy #funny #funny

I never thought that someday men will also use an iPAD. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#funny-and-random #ipad #men #funny

I Take Life Very Seriously: One Joke At A Time. ↗

— Sandra Chami Kassis

#life #philosophy #quotes #truth #wisdom-inspirational

You have terminated me,” one of them said in a strange, flat voice. “But I am one of many.” “Robots!” Iggy breathed, taking Total from Angel. “One of many, one of many, one of many,” the robot Eraser was saying. Now Nudge saw the red light in its eyes, saw how they were fading and winking out. “Good!” spat the Gasman, kicking it hard. “Because we like to blow stuff up, blow stuff up, blow stuff up! ↗

— James Patterson

#bombs #fight #flying #funny #lol

Wow,” she said. “Do you realise how wonderful you sound?” “Yes, I do,” he said with a firm nod. “And I think I’m underappreciated. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#cute #funny #humour #romance #romantic

You took advantage of me while I was sleeping," she said breathlessly. "That's not fair." Gentry's hand moved over her hip in a slow circle."I seldom play fair. It's usually easier to cheat." A sudden laugh bubbled in Lottie's throat. "You are the most shameless man I've ever encountered." "Probably," he conceded, pushing her hair aside and lowering his smiling mouth to the back of her neck. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#naughty-funny #funny

After all, this was the place where I’d had my first meaningful conversation with a female, it was the site of a football’s first encounter with my groin, and above all, it was the location where I was first punched in the face by a bully. Somewhere out there, a tooth of mine lay deep within the soil. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #funny