#omen

...Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says women aren't funny,' or 'Rick Fenderman says women aren't funny... Do you have anything to say to that?' Yes. We don't fucking care if you like it. I don't say it out loud, of course, because Jerry Lewis is a great philanthropist, Hitchens is very sick, and the third guy I made up. ↗

— Tina Fey

#feminism #humor #women #funny

Some women remind you of a good book. Others remind you of a bad movie. ↗

— Darnell Lamont Walker

#movies

You are a wise man, Major, and I will consider your advice with great care--and humility." He finished his tea and rose from the table to go to his room. "But I must ask you, do you really understand what it means to be in love with an unsuitable woman?" "My dear boy," said the Major. "Is there really any other kind? ↗

— Helen Simonson

#love #women #humor

Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees. ↗

— Nelson DeMille

#men #men-and-women #mental-illness #relationships #women

I am better then most people in life. -Rustin Hieber ↗

— Ryan Higa

#humor #justin-bieber #nigahiga #random-quote #ryan-higa

Because women can do nothing except love, they've given it a ridiculous importance. They want to persuade us that it's the whole of life. It's an insignificant part. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#women #life

It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #poetry #humor

I was seducing shepherdesses when you weren't a twinkle in your great-grandcestor's eyes. I think I know what I'm doing. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #women #humor

It's only through sheer force and luck that she's yet to take over the world. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#her #humor #takeover #women #world

Gruff,” I said, “I find myself largely clueless about why mortal women do what they do. It will take a wiser man than me to understand what’s in a fae woman’s mind. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #women #humor