#on

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #melancholy #wit #humor

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #on-writing #wit #writing #humor

Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#colfer #colony #demons #eoin #fowl

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit. ↗

— Richard Pryor

#humor #religion #vampires #humor

Bones didn’t share any of my qualms about suddenly holding an arm that wasn’t attached to a body anymore. He just grabbed the ghoul by his other arm and began thumping him over the head with the loose limb. I’d heard Bones threaten to beat someone with their own limb before, but I’d always assumed that was a figure of speech. Apparently not. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #humorous #humor

A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded. ↗

— Daniel Handler

#ignorance #lemony-snicket #library #humor

An alcoholic is someone you don't like, who drinks as much as you do. ↗

— Dylan Thomas

#definitions #humor #substance-abuse #humor

I'd never met coffee that wasn't wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor #laurell-k-hamilton #humor

Basically, everyone thinks--knows--how sweet I am. Emma, you threw my sister through hurricane-proof glass. ↗

— Anna Banks

#mermaid #poseidon #humor

When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed over British Rail sandwich? ↗

— Helen Fielding

#bridget-jones #humor #humor-relationships #humor