#or

I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #genitals #hilarious #humor #naughty

Death is the liberator of him whom freedom cannot release, the physician of him whom medicine cannot cure, and the comforter of him whom time cannot console. ↗

— Charles Caleb Colton

#comforter #console #cure #death #freedom

Our admiration of fine writing will always be in proportion to its real difficulty and its apparent ease. ↗

— Charles Caleb Colton

#always #apparent #difficulty #ease #fine

To know a man, observe how he wins his object, rather than how he loses it; for when we fail, our pride supports us - when we succeed, it betrays us. ↗

— Charles Caleb Colton

#fail #his #how #know #loses

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. ↗

— John F. Kennedy

#easy #lives #men #pray #pray for

My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health." - City of Bones (said by Jace Wayland) ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-bones #entertainment #funny #humor #jace-wayland

He that is good, will infallibly become better, and he that is bad, will as certainly become worse; for vice, virtue and time are three things that never stand still. ↗

— Charles Caleb Colton

#become #better #certainly #good #infallibly

If a horse has four legs, and I'm riding it, I think I can win. ↗

— Charles Caleb Colton

#horse #i #i can #i think #legs

No company is preferable to bad. We are more apt to catch the vices of others than virtues, as disease is far more contagious than health. ↗

— Charles Caleb Colton

#bad #catch #company #contagious #disease

The drafts which true genius draws upon posterity, although they may not always be honored so soon as they are due, are sure to be paid with compound interest in the end. ↗

— Charles Caleb Colton

#always #compound #drafts #draws #due