#or

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.' 'And yet it is still extremely funny. ↗

— Cecelia Ahern

#sarcasm #funny

Neighbors are the most indecent sort of folk around. Nothing but voyeurs and gossipers. As a community we would be much better off without them. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #gossiping #humor #neighbors #voyeurism

I am not what I appear – I am much shallower than that. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #shallowness #funny

Yes, it’s true. I can now tell you where cups and plates are to be found in my own kitchen. I know it’s a shock, but soon I may even be able to locate a bowl. ↗

— Rebecca Ethington

#funny

Happily Ever After starts every time you woke up. ↗

— T.A

#future #inspiration #inspirational #life #morning

Breaking away from Gideon with some reluctance, Sophie rose to her feet and dusted off her dress. "Please forgive me, my dear Mr. Lightwood- I mean Gideon- but I must go and murder the cook. I shall be directly back. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#gideon #love #sophie #forgiveness

I'm going to have to give him shit for all this,' Shane said, as he wandered around. 'He lives alone and makes his bed? Who does that?' 'People who like things neat?' 'Its not natural. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #humorous #shane-collins #funny

Easy for you to say. You're the one who got plowed. I was doing the plowing." Cam's mouth opened. Oh my God, did I really just say that? I had. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#cam #funny #haha #jennifer-l-armentrout #lol

A brick could be used to enslave humanity. No wait, a brick can’t do that—but the Masons can.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, just measure you blushing cheeks against the rouge of a brick. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny