#or

Don't tell me you fell something for the little . . . oh.' The vampire blinked, then curled his lip back, disgust and pity crossing his sharp features. 'Oh, sister. Really? That's just sad. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#jackal #humor

Where are the dogs?" I asked. "At training," he said. "I have a friend who's an expert dog trainer, and he's giving them some stealth lessons. He used to work for a local K-9 unit." I didn't think it was in the Chihuahua genetic code to ever be stealthy. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #humor

I was convinced that there was at least a seventy-three percent chance he was gay. I bumped it up from sixty-eight after our third game. Zack showed up wearing a light pink shirt that was tighter than usual. ↗

— Kyle Adams

#humor #humor

The other package has pieces of dried stag stick. The pups like chewing on those." "What's a stag stick?" Meg asked, taking the packages. He stared at her for a moment. Then he put a fist below his belt and popped out a thumb. "Oh," Meg said. "Oh. ↗

— Anne Bishop

#humor

I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them during the long winter evenings. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#humor #manners #philip-marlowe #put-downs #raymond-chandler

Checkmate, bitch." -Arriane ↗

— Lauren Kate

#humor

I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing... ↗

— Rick Riordan

#percy-jackson #plumbing #humor

JP shouted, "TELL THEM WHAT YOU JUST DID TO EACH OTHER!" "Um," I said. "We kissed," the Duke said. "That's kinda gay," Keun said. "I AM A GIRL." "Yeah, I know, but so is Tobin," Keun said. ↗

— John Green

#humor #humor

I only got to see three songs, Mac" "That does not entitle you to take home the lead singer, Jody" "I know" "Most people settle for a T-shirt or a poster. Not Jody. Jody wants actual band members ↗

— C.J. Skuse

#humor

I don't think you can fight because you're wearing a wedding dress," said Jem. "For what it's worth, I don't think Will could fight in that dress either." "Perhaps not," said Will, who had ears like a bats. "but I would make a radiant bride. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jem-carstairs #will-herondale #humor