#p

You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab. "Don't use the same beaker you used for poisons!" Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. "I mean it! ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #myrnin #rachel-caine

The poor things keep calling in those – those pumbles, I think they're called – you know, the ones who mend pipes and things – " "Plumbers?" " – exactly, yes, but of course they're flummoxed. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #plumber #weasley #humor

Katsa and Po were trying to drown each other and, judging from their hoots of laughter, enjoying it immensely. ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#humor #katsa #po #humor

What's this about?" "Finally. Interest," was the only response. "If this is one of your tricks..." Like the time Torin had ordered hundreds of blow-up dolls and placed them throughout the fortress, all because Paris had foolishly complained about the lack of female companionship in town. The plastic "ladies" had stared our from every corner, their wide eyes and let-me-suck-you mouths taunting everyone who passed them. Things like that happened when Torin was bored. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor #pranks #humor

And besides . . . I don’t want to leave you. Er, you guys.” He smiled, and it lit up his whole face. “Well, ‘we’ are certainly happy to hear that. Oh, and I’m also happy to watch our darling little love child dragon while you’re in St. Louis.” I grinned back. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#awww #contentment #conversation #humor #love

I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences. ↗

— Graham Parke

#philosophy #weird #humor

Oh for craps sake. You're not dying again, are you? It's seriously inconvenient when you do that." -Aphrodite ↗

— P.C. Cast

#burned #house-of-night #humor #paranormal #vampire

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#exercise #humor #plum #stephanie-plum #humor

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up. ↗

— Ray Romano

#humor #parenting #humor

I can't abide people who go soft over animals and then cheat every human they come across! ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#cheat #humor #people #humor