#p

And besides . . . I don’t want to leave you. Er, you guys.” He smiled, and it lit up his whole face. “Well, ‘we’ are certainly happy to hear that. Oh, and I’m also happy to watch our darling little love child dragon while you’re in St. Louis.” I grinned back. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#awww #contentment #conversation #humor #love

I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences. ↗

— Graham Parke

#philosophy #weird #humor

Oh for craps sake. You're not dying again, are you? It's seriously inconvenient when you do that." -Aphrodite ↗

— P.C. Cast

#burned #house-of-night #humor #paranormal #vampire

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#exercise #humor #plum #stephanie-plum #humor

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up. ↗

— Ray Romano

#humor #parenting #humor

I can't abide people who go soft over animals and then cheat every human they come across! ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#cheat #humor #people #humor

You are my whole heart, Scarlet. And this is breaking it.' My heart cracked open and clear dropped out of me. My mouth opened, and I looked round me and stamped my foot. 'Does this look like a good time to tell me that, you damn stupid boy?' I meant to sound mean but my voice wobbled. 'Now?' He gave a little smile. 'My foul-mouthed warrior. ↗

— A.C. Gaughen

#love #spoiler #humor

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them. ↗

— E. V. Lucas

#late #much #noticed #often #people

Myrnin, who hadn't said much, suddenly reached out and wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened, shocked, and for a panicked second wondered whether he'd suddenly decided to snack on her neck... but it was just a hug. His body felt cold against hers, and way too close, but then he let go and stepped back. "You've done very well. I'm extremely proud of you," he said. There was a touch of color high in his pale cheeks. "Do go home now. And shower. You reek like the dead." Which, coming from a vampire, was pretty rich. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin

Hey!" Caleb snapped as he realized Nick was about to lock him on the outside with their attackers. He pushed the door open and glared at him. "No man left behind." Nick scoffed. "This aint' the army, boy. It's every man for himself. Fall behind. Get eaten ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#paranormal #zombies #humor