#p

My name is Percy Jackson. I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York. Am I a troubled kid? Yeah. You could say that. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #introduction #percy-jackson #school #trouble

Look on the bright side," said Simon, "If they need a human sacrifice, you can always offer me. I'm not sure the rest of you qualify anyway. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #optimism #quip #simon-lewis #humor

Poison!" Grover yelped. "Don't let those things touch you or..." "Or we'll die?" I guessed. "Well...after you shrivel slowly to dust, yes." "Let's avoid the swords," I decided. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #poison #shrivel #swords #humor

(Media question to Beatles during first U.S. tour 1964) "How do you find America?" "Turn left at Greenland. ↗

— Ringo Starr

#beatles #geography #greenland #humor #media

Nobody's ever asked me to a party before, as a friend. Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine too? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#party #humor

I said hello to the poodle. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#mythology #pets #humor

This is very important -- to take leisure time. Pace is the essence. Without stopping entirely and doing nothing at all for great periods, you're gonna lose everything...just to do nothing at all, very, very important. And how many people do this in modern society? Very few. That's why they're all totally mad, frustrated, angry and hateful. ↗

— Charles Bukowski

#humor

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#superstition #humor

As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...] ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#politeness #humor

I'm calm," Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?" "Look," I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything." "Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb." "Was it hard?" Annabeth asked. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#dumb #humor #insult #percy-jackson #rachel-dare