#p

But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#get #i #i think #important #know

I don't need politicians doing a 24-hour prayer with Oral Roberts to get our country back on track. ↗

— Lewis Black

#country #doing #get #i #need

I used to beat myself up about weight and working out, and no matter what I did I never felt good about myself. I decided to accept myself and know that I am good. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#accept #am #beat #decided #did

I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He's the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor's wife right now. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#desperately #guy #had #high #high school

I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#attention #back #because #birthdays #certain

I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is about sex, and that's fine for me. I'm not saying I don't like it. But I don't think it should be everywhere, where kids are exposed to everything sexual. Because they have to have some innocence; there's just no innocence left. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#because #every #everything #everywhere #exposed

I had to work with a psychiatrist. ↗

— Felix Baumgartner

#i #psychiatrist #work

I get an idea about something. I just start thinking about it, and then I get onstage and I talk about it, and then I think about it some more and talk about it some more, and think about it some more and talk about it some more, until it starts to take a shape. ↗

— Lewis Black

#get #i #i think #idea #just

I make music to generate atmospheres, not to complement already existing ones. ↗

— Tom Jenkinson

#atmospheres #complement #existing #generate #i

I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked. ↗

— Lewis Black

#because #course #father #golf #golf course