#pa

I said alone!” He nodded in agreement. “Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It’s our way. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#humour #love #paranormal-romance #romance #funny

I loved her so much, but she vanished from my life. She didn’t just suddenly disappear, but she slowly began losing her opacity until eventually her transparency was 100%.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #life #love #relationships

I’m not trying to—What do teenagers say nowadays?” he asked my grandmother.“Get all up in her biznez,” Nana said.Without cracking a smile.“That’s right,” he replied. “We’re not trying to get all up in your biznez, Ali. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#grandparents #teenage-slang #funny

My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa. ↗

— Molly Harper

#grandpa #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #remarried

Your perception is riveting, Amal," he says in a bored and sarcastic tone, dropping the note down on my desk. "It's comforting to know that there are people in my class who have the maturity and intelligence to make derogatory comments about other people's external appearances." Now what am I supposed to say to that? "What do you have to say for yourself?" Friggin' mind reader. ↗

— Randa Abdel-Fattah

#mind-reader #note-passing #teacher #funny

Pops added,"you know, they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve." "And if you do, you never get the results you expected," (Katherine) replied. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#disappointments #election #elections #false-hope #funny

He was muscular, like a man who could pin you up against the wall as easily as a poster, yet lean, like a man who would rather cradle you in his arms. He had reddish, blonde-brown hair that was groomed heterosexually. He looked older than the other boys in the room—maybe not as old as God or my father, but certainly a viable replacement. Imagine if you took every woman’s idea of a hot guy and averaged it out into one man. This was that man. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #imagination

So why are you so mad at me for kissing you?” “Because you took too long. If you'd done that, say, three years ago, we wouldn't have only had one kiss before we both get horribly mutilated. ↗

— Rusty Fischer

#romance-funny #romantic #ushers #vampires #werewolves

Orafoura paid me in pajamas, and I let him because the pajamas matched his plaid mustache.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #mustache #orafoura #pajamas

People worried too much about their children. Suffering when you're young is good for you. It immunized your body and soul... ↗

— Jeannette Walls

#kids-funny #parenting #suffering #funny