#par

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell. ↗

— Criss Jami

#funny-but-true #hell #humor #introversion #introvert

The old woman was the kind who would not cut down a large old tree because it was a large old tree. ↗

— Flannery O'Connor

#parkers-back #funny

It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful. ↗

— Roald Dahl

#parents #funny

I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday (twice a day). If you’d like to participate in my choreographed dance routine, bring a football helmet and a half empty can of tuna (keeps the stray cats away, because I perform in a gritty, grimy downtown alley).
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cats #choreography #dance #dancing #day

Sometimes, there aren't any good choices. Sometimes, making the right one is hard... It's funny, but when you think about it, we're all broken. That's what life does. It knocks you down and breaks you and you either get back up again, or you don't. You either do things on your terms, or you don't. You let the bad things win, or you don't." "You either let it break you, or you don't. ↗

— Jennifer Lynn Barnes

#teen-fantasy #funny

If everyone were a parasite on society, that would just be too many artists to support. That's why I'm glad I have friends and relatives. Someday, I might even be grateful to have them. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #parasitism #funny

I'm a whore!" Miki hit the brakes...her hands.. gripping the steering wheel, glanced at Sara. "You're not wearing any underwear, are you?" Sara let out a strangled squeal... ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#humour #paranormal-romance #sexy #funny

It's especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do. ↗

— Sean Covey

#children #funny #parents #funny

It's funny how "a part" and "apart" are complete opposites, yet only differ by a little space. ↗

— Wade Rouse

#life #funny

Drug addicts are so funny that way. Just spinning around, lost in their own little world. Doing so much, accomplishing so little. How sad. ↗

— James St. James

#drugs #james-st-james #party-monster #funny