#pol

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#government #humor #politics #public-opinion #humor

I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#humor #napping #politics #humor

Five syllables," Apollo said, counting them on his fingers. "That would be real bad. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #humor

Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#evil #humor #political-correctness #humor

I’m on a government watch list. But I’m not interested, because government watches only work twenty minutes out of every hour.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#efficiency #entitled #entitlement #funny #government

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#bad #book #disgrace #many #politics

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#humor #offences #satire #humor

The Democratic Party supports criminals and Islamic terrorists but has no sympathy for taxpayers. ↗

— Ann Coulter

#politics #humor

the instant he knew he loved her, she slipped down his body and out of his arms ↗

— Don DeLillo

#eric-packer #love

I was raised the old-fashioned way, with a stern set of moral principles: Never lie, cheat, steal or knowingly spread a venereal disease. Never speed up to hit a pedestrian or, or course, stop to kick a pedestrian who has already been hit. From which it followed, of course, that one would never ever -- on pain of deletion from dozens of Christmas card lists across the country -- vote Republican. ↗

— Barbara Ehrenreich

#politics #republicans #humor