#politics

I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#humor #napping #politics #humor

I’m on a government watch list. But I’m not interested, because government watches only work twenty minutes out of every hour.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#efficiency #entitled #entitlement #funny #government

I was raised the old-fashioned way, with a stern set of moral principles: Never lie, cheat, steal or knowingly spread a venereal disease. Never speed up to hit a pedestrian or, or course, stop to kick a pedestrian who has already been hit. From which it followed, of course, that one would never ever -- on pain of deletion from dozens of Christmas card lists across the country -- vote Republican. ↗

— Barbara Ehrenreich

#politics #republicans #humor

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff. ↗

— George Carlin

#economics-philosophy #humor #politics #humor

It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess. It's that the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because once again they glued their balls to their thighs. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#politics #humor

The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#politics-of-the-united-states #humor

America’s been ruined by one word: Bankers. No, two words: Bankers and lawyers. Make that three words. Add politicians to that list. Oh, and don’t forget the lobbyists. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#banksters #humor #lawyers #lobbyists #politicians

Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought stock in it.' Only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it. ↗

— Jay Leno

#politics #republicans #humor

The only way I won't be re-elected is if I were found in bed with a dead girl or a live boy. ↗

— Edwin Edwards

#politics-louisiana #humor

Tutti gli animali sono uguali, ma alcuni sono più uguali degli altri ↗

— George Orwell

#politics #humor