#politics

I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! I love everything." Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our country … how are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we're all one? ↗

— Bill Hicks

#humor #politics #humor

The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life. ↗

— Garrison Keillor

#politics #humor

A proper community, we should remember also, is a commonwealth: a place, a resource, an economy. It answers the needs, practical as well as social and spiritual, of its members - among them the need to need one another. The answer to the present alignment of political power with wealth is the restoration of the identity of community and economy. (pg. 63, "Racism and the Economy") ↗

— Wendell Berry

#community #identity #politics #art

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#philosophical #politics #wisdom #humor

We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it... ↗

— P.J. O'Rourke

#government #humor #politics #republicans #humor

I've got daughters. Nine years old and six years old. First of all, I'm gonna teach them about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them PUNISHED with a baby. ↗

— Barack Obama

#politics #humor

I wanted the feel in these books to be like an epic fantasy, with kings, queens, dukes and court politics, but of course like what I was explaining before, about making the science make sense, you have to make the politics make sense, too. ↗

— Kevin J. Anderson

#before #books #course #court #dukes

I was also going to give a graduation speech in Arizona this weekend. But with my accent, I was afraid they would try to deport me. ↗

— Arnold Schwarzenegger

#politics #humor

The dead should not rule the living ↗

— Thomas Jefferson

#inspirational #politics #inspirational

With anal sex, I suggest you start gently. Find a slender midget. Or a member of Congress. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#anal-sex #congress #funny #humor #politics