#quotation

I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorist #humorous-quotations #humourous #humor

This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit." -Ty Henderson ↗

— Madeleine Urban

#humorous-quotations #shit #squirrel #funny

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt) ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems. ↗

— Adam Selzer

#humorous #humorous-quotations #humor

For the love of mercy, I cannot walk into mediation with a swollen vagina, Cash. Please.” I smile against her thigh, rubbing my scratchy face against the softness of her skin. “Is that what I’m doing?” Innocence—fuck no. I can’t even fake that shit. ↗

— Pella Grace

#romance #love

Do not be concerned with how others treat you. Be only concerned with how you treat others. ↗

— Julia Heywood

#philosophical-quotations #spiritual-quotes #spiritual-wisdom #inspirational

If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together. ↗

— Michael P. Clutton

#humor-inspirational #humorous-quotations #humor

It's good to learn early that every show is a family---complete with dysfunctional relationships, tough love, and plenty of occasion for forgiveness... ↗

— Kristin Chenoweth

#theater #theatre-quotations #faith

I pick my favourite quotations and store them in my mind as ready armour, offensive or defensive, amid the struggle of this turbulent existence. ↗

— Robert Burns

#armour #defensive #existence #favourite #i

Life is a great big canvas; throw all tje paint you can at it. ↗

— Danny Kaye

#comedy #humor #humor-inspirational #humorous #humorous-quotations