#quotation

'Mr. and Mrs. Lowell are not receiving.' What the hell did that mean? 'I'm not throwing a forty-yard pass. I just have a few questions. I think their daughter is in danger.' ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorous-philosophy #humorous-quotations #humor

Oh, adorable, delicious Amelie. If I weren't so completely straight and enamored with cock, I would devour this sweet little tart. ↗

— Ella Dominguez

#humorous-quotations #humor

There's a fine line between funny and annoying – and it's exactly the width of a quotation mark. ↗

— Martha Brockenbrough

#grammar #grammar-humor #quotation-marks #funny

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt) ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems. ↗

— Adam Selzer

#humorous #humorous-quotations #humor

At the point so near to zero, just almost before the death, life’s value jumps to infinity! ↗

— Mehmet Murat ildan

#death

Love is as we will it to be." ~ Amunhotep El Bey ↗

— Amunhotep El Bey

#funny #humorous-quotations #inspirational-quotations #lol #motivational-quotations

He who coordinates his thoughts with his actions controls his own destiny.” ~ Amunhotep El Bey ↗

— Amunhotep El Bey

#inspire #motivate #motivational-quotations #philosophical-quotations #death

In my book an erection constitutes personal growth. ↗

— Amunhotep El Bey

#fun #funny #funny-quotations #humor #humorous-quotations