#quotation

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#beards #children #dada #funny #funny-quotes

Romeo, o Romeo, wherefore art thou o Romeo? ↗

— William Shakespeare

#art

Just like the dead and deserted Moon, all things appear to be beautiful from far distance! ↗

— Mehmet Murat ildan

#beauty

What is a quote? A quote (cognate with quota) is a cut, a section, a slice of someone else’s orange. You suck the slice, toss the rind, skate away. Part of what you enjoy in a documentary technique is the sense of banditry. To loot someone else’s life or sentences and make off with a point of view, which is called “objective” because you can make anything into an object by treating it this way, is exciting and dangerous. ↗

— Anne Carson

#life

'Mr. and Mrs. Lowell are not receiving.' What the hell did that mean? 'I'm not throwing a forty-yard pass. I just have a few questions. I think their daughter is in danger.' ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorous-philosophy #humorous-quotations #humor

Oh, adorable, delicious Amelie. If I weren't so completely straight and enamored with cock, I would devour this sweet little tart. ↗

— Ella Dominguez

#humorous-quotations #humor

I'm writing a book on Procrastination. I hope to start it tomorrow. I've been thinking about it for almost six years now. ↗

— Ron Moore

#procrastination

Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems. ↗

— Adam Selzer

#humorous #humorous-quotations #humor

For the love of mercy, I cannot walk into mediation with a swollen vagina, Cash. Please.” I smile against her thigh, rubbing my scratchy face against the softness of her skin. “Is that what I’m doing?” Innocence—fuck no. I can’t even fake that shit. ↗

— Pella Grace

#romance #love