#quotations

Oh, adorable, delicious Amelie. If I weren't so completely straight and enamored with cock, I would devour this sweet little tart. ↗

— Ella Dominguez

#humorous-quotations #humor

and (b) Kissing someone so that you can get a free trip is perilously close to full-on hooking ↗

— John Green

#humor

Then I yelled through his door, "It's an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. FIFTEEN YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS. ↗

— Jenny Lawson

#humor

This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit." -Ty Henderson ↗

— Madeleine Urban

#humorous-quotations #shit #squirrel #funny

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt) ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems. ↗

— Adam Selzer

#humorous #humorous-quotations #humor

Lady Margaret believed in the three D's: Discipline, Desire, and Determination. But as she listened dutifully to her new employer, hiding her yawns and trying to sit up extra straight in her chair, Charity Hill began thinking of all the lovely things that began with S, such as Sleeping Late, Sex, and Shopping. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#shopping #love

For the love of mercy, I cannot walk into mediation with a swollen vagina, Cash. Please.” I smile against her thigh, rubbing my scratchy face against the softness of her skin. “Is that what I’m doing?” Innocence—fuck no. I can’t even fake that shit. ↗

— Pella Grace

#romance #love

Quotations in my work are like wayside robbers who leap out armed and relieve the stroller of his conviction. ↗

— Walter Benjamin

#conviction #his #leap #like #out

I pick my favourite quotations and store them in my mind as ready armour, offensive or defensive, amid the struggle of this turbulent existence. ↗

— Robert Burns

#armour #defensive #existence #favourite #i