#quotations

Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou hadst been poor-John. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#art

I need no dictionary of quotations to remind me that the eyes are the windows of the soul. ↗

— Max Beerbohm

#eyes #i #me #need #quotations

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you. (BUMPER STICKER) ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

If you do goodness, do it in the name of goodness, not in the name of a religion! All goodnesses should be nameless! ↗

— Mehmet Murat ildan

#religion

'Mr. and Mrs. Lowell are not receiving.' What the hell did that mean? 'I'm not throwing a forty-yard pass. I just have a few questions. I think their daughter is in danger.' ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorous-philosophy #humorous-quotations #humor

Oh, adorable, delicious Amelie. If I weren't so completely straight and enamored with cock, I would devour this sweet little tart. ↗

— Ella Dominguez

#humorous-quotations #humor

Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems. ↗

— Adam Selzer

#humorous #humorous-quotations #humor

Lady Margaret believed in the three D's: Discipline, Desire, and Determination. But as she listened dutifully to her new employer, hiding her yawns and trying to sit up extra straight in her chair, Charity Hill began thinking of all the lovely things that began with S, such as Sleeping Late, Sex, and Shopping. ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#shopping #love

if everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane(T-Shirt) ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor