#r

For a beverage, you asked for some “cherry-assed Kool Aid.” Okay, now you’re just adding “assed” in places where it doesn’t even make sense. Regardless, we will fulfill your request for Cherry Kool-Aid. However, Halle Berry will not be pouring it from her mouth into yours. For dessert, you asked for your mother’s homemade peach cobbler. It is highly unorthodox for someone other than the prison kitchen staff to prepare a final meal. Also, you killed her about eight years ago, remember? So you’ll have to settle for Hostess. ↗

— Colin Nissan

#funny #humor #last-meal #funny

If you come a little closer you will see that I am depicted as having three penises. Of course I’m not insinuating that I actually have three penises or even two. I have one. This is called symbolism. Is it symbolic in the sense that making love to me feels like I have three penises? Again, I can’t answer that, but probably, yeah. ↗

— Colin Nissan

#humor #narcissism #self-portrait #funny

A blanket could be used to cover Mt. Rushmore. But if you rush more, you’re going to rip the blanket in the same way that the very fabric of our democracy is torn.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

We can never know what might have been but what is to come is another matter entirely ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#inspirational

Oh, god…” I whimper. “I haven’t done anything yet, baby,” Colton growls. “I know,” I pant. “I was just saying your name. ↗

— Jasinda Wilder

#falling #falling-into-you #funny #haha #hilarious

As an actor, of course, you want to be in something that's successful. ↗

— Marina Sirtis

#course #something #successful #want #you

Gene Roddenberry's thing always was, we should not pass judgment on anything that anyone else believes in or what they do in their lives. ↗

— Marina Sirtis

#anyone #anything #believes #else #gene

It takes guts and bravery and heart to walk a mile in a single girl’s shoes. And sometimes a fabulous pedicure. ↗

— Mandy Hale

#being-fabulous #being-single #bravery #confidence #courage

I wasn't a 'Star Trek' fan, yet I knew who all the characters were. that goes to show what an impact the show had not just in entertainment but in life. I knew who Chekhov was and I knew who Kirk and Spock were, although I probably had never seen the show. ↗

— Marina Sirtis

#characters #chekhov #entertainment #fan #goes

But you know, really, if you think about it Roger and I and all critics really have one absolute essential part of our credentials and that is that you believe that that is actually what we think. ↗

— Gene Siskel

#absolute #actually #believe #credentials #critics