#ra

Imagine this guy hits Mike Hammer over the head with a wooden coathanger and knocks him out. You hit Mike Hammer over the head with a wooden coathanger, he'll beat the crap out of you. ↗

— Mickey Spillane

#crap #guy #hammer #head #him

Needy people are like newborns, I have come to realize. One intoxicated night and BAM! You are stuck with this problem. You finally take it home and it wants to keep you up all night and cries when it isn’t sucking on various parts of your anatomy. It wants you there for everything – rocking, feeding, burping, changing... It’s ridiculous. If I wanted a kid I would have one. Until then, grow the hell up and stand on your own two feet, you little crazy. ↗

— Chase Brooks

#drunk #humor #needy #relationships #change

Whatsoever is contrary to nature is contrary to reason, and whatsoever is contrary to reason is absurd. ↗

— Baruch Spinoza

#contrary #nature #reason #whatsoever

Ah, Signor Halt,' he said uncertainly, 'you are making a joke, yes?' 'He is making a joke, no,' Will said. 'But he likes to think he is making a joke, yes. ↗

— John Flanagan

#jokes #ranger-s-apprentice #humor

It's Sanjit. It's a Hindu name. It means 'invincible.'" "That's great," Lana said. "Invincible. I can't be vinced." "That's not even a word," Lana said. "Go ahead: try to vince me," Sanjit said. ↗

— Michael Grant

#humor #michael-grant #plague #words #humor

And I can see Russia from my house. ↗

— Tina Fey

#sarah-palin #humor

Silence isn't golden and it surely doesn't mean consent, so start practicing the art of communication. ↗

— T.D. Jakes

#inspirational-life #inspirational-quotes #quotes-i-love #quotes-that-make-sense #silence

For me, Art is the restoration of order. It may discuss all sort of terrible things, but there must be satisfaction at the end. A little bit of hunger, but also satisfaction. ↗

— Toni Morrison

#desire #inspirational #satisfaction #art

Jev stroked his chin. "Do I look like a summer fling? ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor #jev #nora-grey #patch-cipriano #funny

After a long silence, Dodge cleared his throat. "I think I speak for all of us when I say, 'Huh?'" -Dodge(obviously) ↗

— Frank Beddor

#cleared #confused #dodge #frank #glass